If something happen to me

I don't know what happen to me. I feel confuse,not feeling well,heartbroken and everything. That all inside my heart. Do you think this is fool? i don't know. i feel like i din't know myself. Who i'am? Are you Marzuki? where are you Marzuki? please, i need you to come back. I hate myself like this. I feel like i don't need my self anymore. Please, let me die. Just kill me. I always pensive. Let me see you one more old Marzuki. Give me a chance to meet you Marzuki. Please, I'm begging !! When i came into my heart. At there, i can't see anything. Full of darkness. I need some light to see what happen at there. Atleast, let me see and know something because i need to change it. Be myself. I can't face with anyone if I still feel like this and if something happen at me. I'm sorry. I'm saying I'm sorry to all my friends, my family and to my NFA. I glad to know all of you because i can feel happy, enjoy and all positive attitude when I with all of you. Thank for everything (': I feel give up. I don't know what should i do anymore. To my Adinda NFA, if something happen to me. Take care yourself okay? Be strong. I'm gonna miss every moments with you (': When I say I love you, please believe it’s true. When I say forever, know I’ll never leave you. When I say goodbye, promise me you won’t cry. Cause the day I’ll be saying that would be the day I die ♥
Lastly,  If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say I love you, instead of assuming you would know I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away  :')